Marina Lombardo, LCSW
Within Every Challenge...

...Are the Seeds of Opportunity

SEEDS OF GROWTH NEWSLETTER
SPRING 2007

In This Issue...

Introduction
Feature Article
What's New
Feedback from Readers

Marina Lombardo
Psychotherapy, Counseling & Personal Coaching
Lake Bennet Medical Center
1151 Blackwood Avenue, Suite 120
Ocoee, FL 34761
(407) 615-0848
www.marinalombardo.com


Welcome Everyone!

An old friend once told me that when you grow, sometimes it’s necessary to leave things behind. This is the underbelly of growth, the part that no one likes to think about, or if they do, they imagine that the transition will be smooth and seamless.

Well, the truth is, sometimes it is smooth and seamless, and sometimes—not so much. But since there can be nothing new without letting go of the old, let’s look at some ways to honor this part of the passage, and make space for life’s continuing cycle of renewal.

The Promise of Spring

Leavings aren’t always hard. There are times, in fact, when they are cause for celebration. For example, if you’ve been working yourself up to move on from a job that has become stale and boring, the day you’re able to walk into your boss and say, “Enough!” is a happy day. Or, when you’re finally able to kick a bad habit, you feel powerful, liberated.

But the one thing goodbyes do have in common is that they are a process, often an invisible one, and sometimes difficult. A friend recently shared that, after a long absence, she returned to the church of her childhood. But rather than that sense of belonging she remembered as a child, she felt alienated, the smiles of the congregation seemed forced, the music she once loved sounded hollow. Someone else I know recently attempted to rekindle a relationship with an old flame, only to find that the spark had gone out, the connection was gone. You can also outgrow aspects of yourself, personality traits or ways of being in relationships that once identified you strongly, but now have come to feel old and tiresome.

Change is the only true constant in life, and all of us are always changing, whether we’re aware of it or not. The hallmark of relationships that can stay together through time, are those that can flex and adapt to these changes. When that doesn’t happen, moving forward may leave you no choice but to say goodbye.

If you find that you are at the end of a cycle, here are some steps to help move through the transition, into a new season of growth:

Step 1: Pay attention to your feelings. Even if this is a goodbye that you know is right for you, it is normal to have all sorts of feelings: anger, sadness, fear, to name just a few. Make time and space for all of it—journal, take quiet walks—and know that this is what paves the way to eventual acceptance.

Step 2: Live empty for a while. That in-between space of knowing what you’ve left, but not knowing where you’re going, can be filled with feelings of risk, uncertainty—yes—but is also a time of great opportunity. Resist the temptation to fill the void. Instead take the time to think about these questions:

What life circumstances have gotten you to this place?
Where do you need to take responsibility?
Where did you let yourself down?
What choices affirmed you?

Step 3: Explore what you want now. As you spend time getting to know the self you are becoming, consider the way you would like things to be now. Notice the things that give you energy, and attract you. Make conscious intentions for what you’d like to create, what new things you’d like to explore. Most importantly, believe in the power of life to renew itself, the promise of every spring.

Until next time…
Be well!
marina

 

What's New

Conceive on Air!

Listen live on Wednesday, at 2 pm, EST, by logging onto www.voiceamerica.com/conceiveonair. If you missed my 1/10/07 broadcast, with radio host Kim Hahn, on on “How to Deal with the Waiting”, you can log onto it via my website www.marinalombardo.com. Archived radio shows are also available via my website, along with my prior newsletters. Just navigate to “Helpful Links.”

Archived radio shows are also available via my website, along with my prior newsletters.

Conceive Magazine

Next issue is scheduled to be on the newsstands on May 15. Don’t miss my Emotionally Speaking column, which will feature my next article, “From Partners to Parents.

 

Feedback from Readers

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