Lesson 1: Your relationships with other people are extensions of
your relationship with yourself.
If you look at the people you choose to spend
time with, you do so because you have things in common. Maybe you
share an interest or you come from similar backgrounds. It’s
also common to be attracted to people who have certain qualities
that you admire and would like to grow in yourself.
Lesson 2: The people you most enjoy being with are ones who bring
out the best in you.
Another way of saying this is that you like who YOU are when you
are around certain people. For example, if you like to think of yourself
as having a good sense of humor, you probably like to be around people
who laugh at your jokes and stories. It feels good when others validate
what you see as your best qualities.
Lesson 3: Relationships become a problem when you project a broken
part of yourself onto another person, and then think that you can
fix yourself by fixing or changing the other person.
Ironically, these may be people who you are most drawn to because
unconsciously you believe that these relationships are an opportunity
for you to heal and become whole again. Of course, this doesn’t
work because you can only heal yourself, never anyone else.
Lesson 4: As you grow and become healthier, there’s
less attraction to broken people.
For example, if you have addressed your own issues of loss and
abandonment, people locked in this pattern are no longer attractive
to you. There’s no click: there’s no broken part of
you that’s connecting with a broken part of them.
Lesson 5: The best way to heal is to give yourself all the loving
support you can, and to surround yourself with people who will
do the same.
Which brings you back to Relationships 101:
Lesson 1: We teach people how to treat us.
And around and around it goes.
The real question is: If you don’t like what’s
happening in your relationship life, what are your challenges saying
Until next time…